“When we can’t say ‘No,’ we become a sponge for the feelings of everyone around us and we eventually become saturated by the needs of everyone else while our own hearts wilt and die. We begin to live our lives according to the forceful should of others, rather than the whispered, passionate want of our own hearts. We let everyone else tell us what story to live and we cease to be the author of our own lives. We lose our voice — we lose the desire planted in our souls and the very unique way in which we might live out that desire in the world. We get used by the world instead of being useful in the world.” – Dr. Kelly M. Flanagan, a licensed clinical psychologist, Ph.D. in clinical psychology (source)
The article is called “4 Facts About ADHD That Teachers & Doctors Never Tell Parents.”
Please read the article. He isn’t saying ADHD does not exist or that it should be disregarded and neither am I.
It’s all very familiar to veteran homeschooling parents, especially ones that had their kids in the public school system but left because they realized that it didn’t fit for their family. I’ve talked with many families that have found a completely different child once they were removed from school, much like the kid they knew before school or during the summer.
My question is this, why do we treat children so different than adults? I’m not talking about expectations of caring for themselves or taking on the responsibilities of adult like. I’m talking about personal rights. Why do we not respect their “no”? Why do we force them to “share”? How can we expect them to grow and respect others when they themselves are treated as second-class citizens?
If I’m sitting at an Italian opera and I’m yawning, fidgeting, and thinking about what I will do tomorrow or what it would be like to repaint the room, my partner doesn’t think I have a disorder that is obviously impairing my ability to absorb the important art form I’m witnessing. He thinks I’m bored. He believes I’m completely uninterested and decides to take me on a date somewhere else next time, not drug me so that I can better enjoy his interest. Is a child in a classroom any different? Find a new venue, explore other topics, find that child’s spark and build on it! He isn’t like you. He isn’t ready for figures and history. He wants adventure, art, or activity. Why can’t we embrace that and find out what kind of an adult that child becomes instead of forming him by force into the adult we want him to be.